Feb 2nd 2023 // Social media detox
I had the urge to share something on IG to have my fix of personal validation. Instead I chose to write this post:
This is the 5th day of this social media detox, and earlier this evening I really felt the urge of logging in and sharing things. It’s always the same thing, as soon as something a bit too stressful happens in my life (right now is pretty stressful) I procrastinate by numbing myself on Instagram.
Yes, I use it mostly to share and engage but some days, on the days where I feel a bit weaker mentally, I just scroll and consume.
I compare myself with other accounts that I admire or seem to be performing better than me. My inner dialogue starts to scream negative things, I can really notice the shift happening in my mind.
Mood swings. Maybe after all, the main cause of these so-called “moodswings” is instagram !
Anyhow, the problem is that I shift from bring in a loving place by sharing and helping others with my online presence, to ego driven when I’m more tired, stressed or distracted. I start to scare about the views, the likes and the attention I get or not.
(all ego-driven shit I know).
And that’s why I pull the plug when I feel like it’s getting out of hand.
But that doesn’t resolve the problem. I’m only putting a plaster on the wound and expect it to be fine.
The real problem is my lack of self esteem combined with the habit of trying to find it online.
After my last therapy session, I understood that I had to make a conscious decision about my use of social medias.
I need to work at building my self-esteem by engaging in more meaningful activities and developing deeper connections with my surroundings.. real people in real life.
There are only 2 ways :
-
Feed the ego
-
Engage in meaningful things
As i’m longing for connectivity, social medias trick me into thinking that i’m making real connections by opening myself up in an authentic way to the public. In reality, i’m only playing it safe as I don’t really have to connect with people. I’m controlling the outcome so I never have to really feel vulnerable. Which leaves me feeling even more alone.
That’s what I figured out lately.
Now,
Let’s just say that I’m trying to prevent social medias to fuck me up for good.
As we all should, by the way.
If you really think that you have control over your social media consumption, try deleting your tiktok app for 3 days and see how you feel.
We are hooked.
and it’s scary.
So I’m just trying to be mindful about all this, social medias are amazing tools to connect with one another, promote your art, business or talents.
But it’s impact on our mental health is really something not to neglect.
Stay mindful.
Unplug once in a while.
while you still can.
What are your thoughts on this ?
Here’s one question to ask yourself :
Who are you when you are not on social medias ? (especially for creators / influencers)