Journal #2 | What I realized after this social detox

5 days in nature

July 9th - Morning Thoughts

• The idea of leaving the city for a little retreat seemed nice until I actually got there left alone with myself. It was scary at first
• It took me 2 complete days to actually be ok with less distraction
• At first I wanted to go back to the city because I felt overwhelmed around simplicity nothing much to do. (kinda Ironic uh ?)
• as if my mind was going crazy because there was suddenly no more escape
• It was literally back to simplicity - minimalism
• I had to sit and relax in my body, calm my mind and face whatever thoughts that came up
• I think it’s really the first time that I found it that hard to stay with myself, I got used to the city, the noise and distractions, always on-the-go… never would’ve thought that I’d be able to tolerate and thrive in the chaos…
• Actually I was burning myself from both ends, I was so “busy” and disconnected from my body that I wasn’t aware that I needed time to rest;
• But the thing is when you’re in an environment that encourages slowing down and being more mindful and offers less distractions, you suddenly pay attention to all the cues your body is trying to tell you.
• I was so tired I slept 12 hours a night + multiple naps during the day. 
• I got to reconnect with myself even though I still need to practice the daily rituals i’ve been doing in nature which are ; morning meditation, very few moments on my phone, long walks, journaling often, taking the time to eat mindfully.
• Days felt so long, I literally thought the time had stopped. That’s the power of mindfulness and all the daily practices written above. 
• When I got there I felt numb in my body, in my mind, wasn’t feeling anything. I used to practice gratitude and feeling grateful for most of the things happening in my life. I was surprised I couldn’t feel grateful for the first few days… like ; A lake ? lol Silence ? Meh Nature and trees and birds and little animals running around ? normal, who cares… and as the days passed by, on the 4th day I started to feel grateful again. And the way I know that I feel gratitude flowing in me is I often shed a tear of joy. The feeling is so powerful. 
• Now that I’m back in the city I try to be as mindful as possible,  choosing carefully to whom I give my energy to.
• As i’m writing this I feel that i’m slowly reconnecting to my soul. Smiling, feeling whole. 
• Going there alone made all the difference. On your own beat / frequency, nobody to depend from, nobody to please — In my opinion, if you really want to reset and detox, you should do it alone. That’s how you really get to know yourself and dig deeper. 

 

I started to do the little thing that kept me grounded and connected again, taking one day at the time, sitting with whatever feeling, being ok with not being ok, no judgment, being patient with yourself. 

I hope this inspires you to reconnect with yourself and slow down

*By taking care of yourself I mean making yourself a priority by doing the little things that keep you connected to your truest self. Learning, reading, writing, connecting with others, moving, listening to your intuition. All these things add up.
Don't give up on yourself too quickly 🌊

 

Any thoughts ? Leave a comment down below :)